Week 16 has probably been one of my favorite weeks of being a mama so far! I never thought this day would come but oh my goodness has this week been such a blessing and a big lesson on patience.
For weeks and months, everyone promised me that this time would come and if I am honest, I thought they were all just full of it. 😛
It’s been so so nice to catch a break from the cramps and the nausea and the fatigue, it’s not gone completely (yet?! 🙂 🙂 🙂 ) but it’s definitely taken a back seat!
To celebrate, J took me and our little poppyseed on a time-honored tradition for some pampering and belated birthday fun.
I had my first ever prenatal massage and it was glorious!!
I didn’t know what to expect and I didn’t realize how tense and tired and achy my whole body was until they started working on it and I ooooohed and ahhhhhhhhed and never wanted it to stop.
I swear after they worked on my calves and shoulders, I floated on air!
I’ve been hesitant about all these firsts but knowing that our therapist was someone specifically trained in prenatal care allowed me to really just relax and I’m so glad I got to enjoy it with J!
Oh, and remember the sour and spicy monster that lives in my body?
Every day in Phuket, I soothed the little beast with at least one bowl of hot spicy delicious tom-yummy soup! 🙂
The best part? My fish sauce, big smells, raw meat (!!) fears didn’t materialize and we were able to take a cooking class!
The chef was so kind and accommodating to
this fussy pot my crazy and she worked with us in tailoring the menu. We took the same class last year so not only did she come out with a host of different dishes but she also customized it so J could get all the seafood he wanted and I could make mine as meat/seafood-free/pregnancy friendly as I wanted!
I don’t know if you can tell from our smiles but we had so so so so much fun at our cooking class together…it was just the both of us and it was intimate, familiar, and so very inspiring.
It sounds so silly but it really restored so much of my self-esteem just to be able to feel like ‘me’ again. I didn’t realize how depressed and low I was feeling until this fog lifted. It’s so cliched but I swear, it’s like the grass was greener, the sunshine was brighter.
I worried so so much less and somehow gave myself permission to just really embrace being pregnant. I’ve been so fearful about losing our poppyseed that I haven’t really allowed myself to say it out loud or to acknowledge or to really shout it from the rooftops. This week, we soaked it all in and it was both so surreal and empowering.
Also, my bump was a little bit more noticeable this week so it was a little harder to hide. My favorite part however is when J and I would randomly and knowingly just look at each other with grins bigger than our faces could contain just in awe of God’s design for life.
A pomegranate…that’s how big our little one is this week! Isn’t that so absolutely and beautifully insane?!
But really, what this week was for us was like balm over our marriage. It was so so special to be able to spend such precious time with J, dreaming big dreams and taking stock of our good.
If you asked me 12 months ago, on that beach, the salty wind in my hair, sandy toes, and the most handsome boy as my best friend if I could possibly want for anything more…I would have told you no.
I was so in love and joyful and content and I couldn’t even imagine “more”. We had just come home from a beautiful trip around France with family after a full summer of visiting back in America and we were still in the honeymoon stage of awe and delight after just having had our “official” ceremony in June.
I was a bride in love and I thought this was the top of my mountain, but God knew and He patiently unfolded and molded and worked, even when I thought I was done.
In the dark and the scary, this is my constant reminder that God is always creating and weaving, that all I have to do is just surrender and submit, to stop trying to control the uncontrollable and just enjoy the ride.
Because if I stop and pause to take it all in, if I take the cap off the fears and the what ifs, I get to really embrace the magic of where we are.
The complicated, messy, chaotic, beautifully unexpected here.
And I would realize, that this precious story, is exactly the dream I wished God would write for me.
“All I’m trying to say is that you are the best of me.”
~Tyler Knott Gregson
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