This week, it’s really started to sink in and become real that I’m going to be a mama. It’s weird and crazy and so very surreal.
I caught a glimpse of my baby bump today and I just smiled and oohed in awe at my reflection, marveling that it was beginning to look less like pot-belly-junk-food-eating-fatttttay and more like an actually pregnant mama.
We also decided to visit an insanely huge and busy busy busy parents’ fair today and to say that J and I were overwhelmed would be the understatement of the year. Oh my.
We have so much to learn(!!) but acknowledging and having strangers talk about our baby and our future in present tense was both an awesome and hopeful humbling experience.
I cannot even begin to tell you what it meant to have someone write out loud the things I have felt throughout this pregnancy….it was like a warm hug that this is normal and that this is okay, that I am for just a second there, not crazy and not alone.
Week 15 has been interesting because the crazy cramps and the intense nausea are just beginning to taper off. As crazy as this sounds, having those symptoms reassured me that there was a baby still growing in there since it was the only way I could tell.
Our prenatal checks went from every week to every two weeks and are now are once every 4-6 weeks. What a long way we have come and what a comfort to know that our doctor is more confident and is willing to go longer between visits. Yet in the looooong between of being assured of a heartbeat and growth, I find myself worrying.
I know I know I know. I’m trying to stay positive and calm and send good vibes to the little tiny growing human in my belly so of course, the crazy-making part is knowing that this worrying is futile and pointless and so I frustrate myself even more for being worried!!
(Hormones may also have a teeny tiny little bit to do with it.)
Ooh, and the weird craving this week?
I normally don’t feel too passionately for or against avocados but this week, I have honestly had days where all I could think about was creamy, delicious, perfectly ripe avocados.
Nevermind the baby bump watch, this week, my main focus was watching my avocado stash everyday to see if it had ripened enough to consume.
….maybe I have lost my mind! 🙂
I have had them plain, sprinkled with salt, a dash of soy sauce and sliced fiery red chillies, with a squeeze of lime, or on crackers, or toast, or chips, but the most glorious combination? Guacamole.
(Follow the link for a recipe of the best freaking guacamole you will ever eat in your life.)
J and I also had a mini staycation this week to a little beach resort just an hour out of the city to celebrate a friend’s birthday.
Our friends had a fun time teasing me about all the snacks I brought to share. There was Cheezels and Cheetos Puffs and Munchies and a hundred gazillion types of chips, ramen noodle cups, mangos/blueberries/grapes/oranges/green apples, Halloween candy bar mix and I also made a huge jar of guacamole and salsa for our Tostito Scoops!
(funny aside, J and this crazy pregnant woman were walking down the aisles just shoving random snacks that sounded good into my cart and when we got to the tortilla chips, we both looked at each other and said SCOOPS! BECAUSE IS THERE EVEN ANY OTHER KIND?!) 😛
But more importantly, I made a brownie cake!
I’ve shared before our time-honored and sacred ritual of cake on your birthday so that morning, I took out a favorite tried-and-true recipe and went to work.
Except I have pregnancy brain yo (oh my god it is so not a myth, ask J and he could write you a book of stories!) so I totally messed up my cooking times.
I made two different sized trays and silly me totally forgot to adjust the baking times.
I only realized this as we cut into the cake and I was so embarrassed!
But the slow and quiet lesson that bed rest and pregnancy has taught this perfectionist is sometimes, things just don’t go according to plan
…and that is perfectly okay.
Don’t sweat the small stuff.
All my life, I’ve tried to teach myself that…and in the God orchestrated symphony of life, a little totally out-of-my-control tiny growing avocado is teaching me these precious lessons whether I want to embrace it or not.
Because when you take a step back, and you focus on the big picture, you never know what you might find on the back roads and the detours.
Like random cows on random lorries in the middle of nowhere on the drive home…and the city boy and the city girl, partners-in-crime and eyes so big, looking at each other to see if they saw it and laughing because how completely random and unexpected and so wrong but yet another memory made.
Hold on tight little one, I think our adventure is just beginning.
“If you stumble, make it part of the dance.”
Thank you for reading and for your love and support! If you’d like to continue following our little poppy seed and his/her mesmerized mama and daddy, please subscribe to the blog (box in the right column) or like our facebook page for the latest bump-dates!
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